It's so interesting reading this book as a non-parent (and as somebody who never intends to be a parent). It's clear to me that most current American parents are slaves to their children in a way that my own parents were not. As someone who works with the public on a daily basis in a place that caters to children & families (as well as adults), I'm frankly appalled at some of the behaviors I see that would never have been tolerated a generation ago. I am aware, though, that it's easy to be smug and judgmental when you're not the parent/guardian of a small child, though. :)

Let me first say, that I am not a parent. Nor do I intend to become a parent in the near future. I would like to have children within the next four or five years, but am in no rush within that time frame. So I know how odd it might seem for a non-parent to read a parenting book.The reason I decided to read this book is based, in large part, on my own fear of parenthood. In a recent discussion with my mother she was horrified to learn that I had lived most of my life with a fear of having children. I had heard over and over that having a child meant the end of your life as you know it (and of course, to a degree that is true). This fear even carried over when one of my best friends announced she was pregnant. I had heard for years that having children meant you stopped being you, and started being a mother. You stopped having friends, because you didn't have time to do or be anything other than a mother. You lost the intimacy with your partner. You ceased to be an individual and became an ideal. And, if you decided to have a life away from your children you were selfish, you weren't living your life with your children as the center of your universe. Wave goodbye to sleep, you won't do it for a few years. Tantrums at any given time? Perfectly normal, no matter how embarrassing. These ideas were supported by media which describe mothers who are tired, haggard, in ill-fitting and unattractive clothes and rats-nest hair, who deny their husbands intimacy, are unable to enjoy a meal with friends, and can't even shower or use the restroom uninterrupted. This is a terrifying, dreary picture for a young girl (though excellent birth control). And one my mother swears she never meant to paint. But nonetheless, as a woman now becoming interested in having a family, shaking off this picture of the American mother was hard. Would I be giving up everything I love and am to create a tiny human who would in turn make me miserable? American mommy-war parenting says yes. But Druckerman, who obviously grew up with a similar picture of motherhood, learned that the French said no. The French are, by and large, as horrified by this picture as I am. And that is why I read this book, because of the comfort it gave me in realizing that I'm not alone in thinking the current state of mommy-martyrdom is insane and unhealthy. I read this book in three days, and came away from it with a sense of relief. I don't have to give up a strong relationship with my partner for the sake of my children, in fact it's quite the opposite. Your marriage should be a priority. As one French woman says "You can't choose your children, but you chose your husband."I always felt the need to defend my personal ideas on parenting, after all I'm not a mother, so what could I know? But in a twist of validation I read that my ideas aren't so far fetched, that they are common practice in France. Don't cater to your child's every whim at dinner, expect them to eat what you eat? That's not barbaric (as some online mommy forums would say), it's much more healthy than allowing children to limit their palates (this is a fear of mine as my partner has become an adult with severely limited food tolerance based on a childhood of being fed separate "kids" food). Don't rush to them immediately during the night at the slightest whimper? Why, some American parenting experts call this abandonment and negligence. Carve out a space that is just for you and your partner, such as your bed? Certain "attachment parenting" guru's call this cruel, advocating for a baby that clings to you at all times. This book was a wonderful, refreshing reassurance that it is totally possible to have a life where you are you, not only a mother. Where you are a spouse, a friend, and most importantly an individual. And by continuing to be exactly who you are, only adding another element to the mix that is uniquely you, your children won't be horrible screw-ups. In fact, they might even prefer it.

I loved this book and most of the advice. I do think think that 'the pause' is enacted way too early and, although I agree with a feeding schedule, four times a day isn't enough for an infant in my opinion. I love how the French teach their children the importance of Bonjour, Merci, Au Revior, as well as how they introduce them to food and get them involved in the kitchen. Some of the reviewers lambasted the author for depicting the parenting styles of upper-class Parisians as 'out of touch' with how the French really raise their children but so what? If that's what she's depicted then it should be considered as a peek into the lives of upper-class Parisians. It doesn't make the information presented any less interesting or valuable. At any rate, I couldn't put this book down, and I have lots of take aways that I'll use in the future.